How am I Connecting?

This blog was started, in part, because of Johann Hari’s book Lost Connections and a small family gathering with some grandchildren. It was to become a way of connecting with friends and family because life is full and in-person events don’t happen very often. So, here we are again today with another post.

“Connection” was somehow a word sitting top of mind through most of the week, along with what felt like a bit of a “poke” to give some further reflection/consideration to the impact of the spoken and written word.

This past week a series of interviews, panels and shared stories, facilitated and organized by www.opentohope.com, were on the “worth watching” list. For anyone interested in hearing about how others in the earth-school have and/or are dealing with loss, the conference contains a lot of information and heart-felt experiences that truly provide “hope”. For this writer, a new level of understanding arose as the participants opened their hearts to let listeners know they are not alone, that there are many resources available and that every experience is valid. Remaining connected and not moving into a state of isolation was a key point so I wanted to include the links for anyone else who may be walking through this journey.

Naturally there are multiple connotations, definitions, and understandings about this word “connection” and there were three small examples that came forward personally this week.

Stepping out of isolation to make new connections?

TAP DANCING… and the kind of connection that unfolds when a group of like-minded people are introduced to this new one (the Crone) who has been in a somewhat self-imposed state of isolation. What kind of dynamic might evolve? Experience seems to be showing that it’s the state of being “like-minded” that influences the depth of the connection. Then, through repetitive gathering the depth of the connection expands and a new friendship evolves. What’s not to like or enjoy about that scenario.

Being the recipient of kind words

Paths cross and words are exchanged about the impact that an act of kindness had in an individual’s life when they were at a turning point. The connection reconfirmed that, at the time, there was no awareness that an interaction and/or specific words had somehow been impactful. The new words exchanged, as paths were again crossed, also raised a new idea. Might the connection be more about soul agreement(s) than human-suited personality. AND… might this also be where the idea of “the teacher will appear when the student is ready” OR “the student will appear when the teacher is ready” comes into view.

Heart and soul connections

The one that takes place between a 2^nd quarter student and a 4^th quarter crone. A fully open-heart sharing exchange happening with obvious healing taking place on both sides. Again… more soul agreement exchanges that have always been within “the story” and now are “Perfectly on time” to be spoken out loud. The universe may have been conspiring.

Obviously, there are a gazillion “connection” stories out there in our universe. As a bit of an aside, a state of being “almost in awe”, at the new ideas and experiences that keep appearing for this Crone, seems to somehow be tied directly to the writing of these blogs. So, while my gratitude to those who read and remain connected is truly heartfelt another level of gratitude is extended to whatever universal spirit is at play and involved in what feels like a healing process.

The week of February 27^th a Spiritual Writing World Summit was taking place and participation was enjoyed with a lovely level of anticipation. There were 12 presenters who shared incredible stories about their journeys from mindsets of “who am I to think I could write a book” to becoming published authors. One of the presenters, Danielle LePointe, reminded us listeners about Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements. One of my favourite reads, the four agreements were referenced in one of the earlier blogs and somewhat surprisingly have remained embedded in the grey-matter attached to this Crone. Danielle was speaking about the power of our words and suggesting how we should be mindful not only about what we speak but also what we write.

Years ago as the journey with Wellcoaches began, it was suggested that a book titled “Send” by David Shipley & Will Schwalby should be picked up and read. It ultimately changed the approach used in sending out an email (by this one who was just a 3^rd quarter player at the time). Not overnight of course…. please remember we’re dealing with a human-suited soul, here to experience all that’s to be presented “Perfectly on time”. Sainthood is not likely be acquired in this go around.

In the early days of email it seemed quite acceptable to just shoot from the hip and send off a blast or two or three and then the volley would begin to see who could get toughest, meanest, most critical. That memory of course raises the question… what was accomplished… followed by the now clear realization of how a connection could so easily be destroyed through mindless word exchanges.

Having now come into the position of being a 4^th quarter player life is simpler and taking a pause can result in a more balanced approach.

Social media and texting are the two platforms that seem to raise flags when it comes to the written word.

• There are no facial expressions
• There is no tone of voice
• There is no body language
• There is no hand to hold, shoulder to pat, hug to give
• It’s all just in black and white

So, how might responses be crafted that result in the retention of the responder’s dignity and at the same time extend courtesy and respect back to the original sender. None of us can know what part of another person’s story may be unfolding for them in the moment. Does that idea allow for an option or choice to create space and a kinder connection? Perhaps that sounds like “lofty thinking” but in truth isn’t it something that could be practiced even once in a while just to see what might result – on both sides. With awareness and taking that “pause” might we end up with a heart-centered connection instead of shadow-centered angst.

But here’s the kicker this time. What kind of dynamic and connection might unfold if instead of that written word, a phone call was placed with an invitation to sit down, face to face, eyeball to eyeball and actually speak words out loud from heart and soul while allowing tone of voice, facial expressions and body language to also be present. The idea may seem a little unique in our world of text, email, Instagram, twitter, etc. But, it might be an interesting exercise, just to see if there would be an impact in how us humans might actually connect with each other.

It’s kind of fun to catch the eye of the grumpiest looking individual in the room and give them a big smile…. it’s very rare that the smile hasn’t been returned.
Connection?

Sitting having breakfast one morning this past week a question rose to the surface and seemed destined for a little deeper thought. In addition to folk dancing, tap has now entered as a somewhat new endeavour. I say new because in truth it was part of my early 1^st quarter world. Monday was the first lesson and it was so significant it’s a little difficult to find the right words. Why was it significant? Something about recognizing that it’s truly okay for this human-suited earth-school individual to participate in some activities that bring joy and fun into her experiences AND dance is certainly doing that. Those who know me will understand about not getting overly OCD… I’ve only practiced every day with the help of more YouTube tutorials. It brings back a bucketful of memories and at the same time seems to open this heart and soul to a level of exuberance that hasn’t been present for a very long time. I am so grateful!

So to expand on this just a little more. In addition to the new happiness what else might be important? The connection! That in-person sharing and learning taking place between these like-minded individuals.

Then there’s the Spirit Writer’s Workshop – four weeks and more deep diving into the written word. Not to be expanded on at this time but may well be part of something in the future.

As these words appear on the computer screen, in black and white, a “sense” of there being another “voice” at work comes forward. Perhaps a voice that’s relaying lessons to the writer as part of the uncover, discover, discard process that has been practiced for some time now. It’s truly never too late to make changes and those layers and layers of old BS (Belief Systems) CAN be shifted and morphed into something that makes a heart sing. This heart has been singing, dancing and having fun all week and wishes the same for all of those who decide to plow through the writing.