Month: June 2023

Crone/Wise Woman Stories/

None of us are alone.

“PERFECTLY ON TIME” MUSING

There’s a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. -Pearl Baily

No matter how many days/weeks/months/years the calendar displays as having gone by there are moments when there’s a “child” inside that still wants to be acknowledged, nurtured, and loved. Putting that into black and white print and having the audacity to publish it for others to see feels self-absorbed [per “shadow-voice“]. However, on another level that “soul-voice” speaks up – reassuring me that even though I may be identifying as a Crone/Wise woman (in training) my story does NOT exclude me from those kinds of feelings and emotions; that I’m not alone; and why not just get honest enough to share the thought(s).

The universe has given this human-suited earth-school traveller much to investigate these past two weeks. The result? Mini states of overwhelm followed by reassurance that everything remains “Perfectly on Time“. An interesting discovery (through a variety of connections, both in person and via technology) was that I too am not alone in that “overwhelm” regard. Of course, that led me to then give thought to the universal energetic forces that seem to be playing out in our world but … that’s probably for another day and time.

So, where to land with this post? By undertaking to “practice experiencing vulnerability” might even one other “earth-school traveler” gain a sense of “Aha” and recognize that they too (1) are not alone; and (2) are “Perfectly on Time”.

Let’s see what unfolds …

My adventures continue to present “food for thought” and I’ve been prompted to consider whether “Perfectly on Time” moments might be cyclical in relation to old ideas. OR, might it be the other way around and it’s the old ideas that are cyclical? Either way, repetition is in the mix and I’m now wondering if perhaps ALL ideas give us an opportunity to consider “universal truths” [Author’s note: Googling “universal truths” had the potential to take me down an incredibly long and winding rabbit hole but I resisted. Instead that may become a new approach over at Substack … LOL].

Thank you Star for presenting me with those words to be incorporated into this writing – you knew I was struggling and voila! Of course, that willingness to become aware, and then take steps to re-evaluate, lies entirely with me. Not you, not my family, not my friends…. Just me.

Light bulb moment?

I recently attended an event with a guest speaker who talked about “stealing” ideas, words, and the experiences of others as a way to “tell his own story”.

When another “human-suit” tells their story and I relate to that story isn’t that a “Perfectly on Time” event? You might wonder why and I would respond with… because… in that moment of connection I’ve not only become open to a new idea I’ve also recognized that I’m not alone. Then another question surfaced. When I sit down to write am I creating “new” words? Of course not! BUT… and this is probably a big but… at times what feels like being “driven” to chase rainbows and fall down Alice’s rabbit holes – seems to then result in a difference in my own understanding about behaviours, ideas, ways of reacting and how best to practice responding to life. When the student is ready the teacher will appear? Why not?

And, from where I sit today that’s a good thing…

I am NOT a historian. However, if I was able to view history in some form of replay it would seem pretty safe to say that as a species we seem to be on the slow-side to learn from our mistakes and the past. So then I had to ask myself why is that? And my “soul-voice” starts to speak about the agreements that have been made over the millennium… agreements to come here to walk through these “human” experiences as a way to grow and truly learn about love. I recently listened to “The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek” and was reminded that we may have made some progress but my, oh my, it’s taking a long time!

I have a favourite meditation with Suzanne Giesemann that walks me through a backward life review and includes this component:

“…And you’re looking at this holographic image of a life and you say “I’m going to take on that life there”… and the guides say “…don’t worry about that, it will be over in the blink of an eye. Just come back and bring back more love than we are giving you to go with.”

I have made reference for many, many years now to a statement presented to me by my mentor Gladys. “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” This meditation with Suzanne seems to speak to that BUT at the same time I wanted to share that I recently discovered the original statement was not of my mentor’s making! It has been around for a very, very long time… yet one more very tiny example of “stealing” words… LOL

Me & You or You & Me

On Thursday as I was doing my morning reading practice from “The Promise of a New Day” (part of the Hazelden Meditation Series) it impacted me to such an extent that I decide to include it here.

June 14.
There’s a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. -Pearl Baily

None of us is all good or all bad. Each of us takes pride in some of our actions and suffers shame for others. To be human guarantees upheavals; we are assured of shortcomings, and we can count on glad tidings too. Taking all of life’s ebb and flow, smoothed by our own personal responses, leads us to a mellow maturity. Self-acceptance is mandatory if we are ever to experience the sweetness of serenity. This acceptance must be whole and unconditional, not selective. We are who we know how to be at the moment, nothing more. But we are in a continual state of becoming. Whatever we’ve said, thought, or done combines in untold ways to enrich our experiences and the lives of those we touch. Let’s not be soured by the self of the past, of yesterday even. Humbly accepting that portion of the whole will sweeten the rest.

I can avoid personal shame today if I think and feel before acting or reacting.

Which is where the practice of the pause and my mantra of always being “Perfectly on Time” seems to fit. My favourite “words” from the above? “… mellowing maturity…” and “we are in a continual state of being…”

So, although not my own words, reaching out to “share” resulted in the loveliest responses and in truth kind of took me by surprise. The bigger gift in all of it was how full my heart felt… that lovely element of sensing my soul kicking up heels and doing a little happy (perhaps tap) dance because others were also impacted by the words.

Another realization that popped forward was how my memories of “softer/quieter ways” are being replaced with what, at times, feels like “bigger, better, more, faster” ways because of technology. There are definitely moments when I question the impact of electronics, social media and the never-ending technological exchanges we seem to be so absorbed in. Then the universe conspires and pokes and prods for me to take certain actions which resulted in this most recent experience. So, even though I may at times take exception to the changes I see I also have to acknowledge and be grateful that each exchange was actually a “Perfectly on Time” moment to be cherished – AND – that it wouldn’t have happened without technology.

Is there a takeaway this week?

Something that was top of mind, probably in year two after Don skipped town was this question about whether or not I had an identity without him and would it somehow be beneficial to find a way to move from what was “we” to “me”.

Suddenly, almost five years later I see so very clearly it has ALWAYS been about WE versus just me. And, the WE component is that sharing. That listening to another soul. That exchange of thoughts and ideas between all of us – whether we agree or not isn’t what’s important. What does seem to be important is that we continue to reach out to others and share those magical “Perfectly on Time” moments that cross our paths. If someone else is ready to hear and/or see the magic that’s lovely. If they’re not, that’s equally lovely because we are ALL simply living our stories to the best of our ability. Doing the best we can with what we have.

Crone/Wise Woman Stories/

Turtle Love

“PERFECTLY ON TIME” MUSING
There’s really no point in running away – wherever I go I have to take myself with me.

Yes – I’ve been absent. Do the details need to be included here in this post? Not really. Perhaps it’s adequate to say I found myself having a somewhat extended dance with my shadow. It seems to be beyond my capability to reach out and ask for help and this self-sufficient (stubborn?) streak continues to rule at times. Then suddenly an intervention of sorts takes place. A passage from a daily reading carries an impact; a connection with another person walking through a difficult portion of their life story resonates; the poppies burst into bloom; and suddenly everything is once again very clearly “Perfectly on Time“.

I’ve also used that beginning and written a piece over at Substack but on a bit different track. Feel free to go explore if you’re so inclined.

Some days ago now I landed on a 10-year old YouTube with Mark Nepo. He noted what he referred to as “Two Movements” for the presentation:

(1) Knowing where we are and (2) Keeping what is true before us.

And then made this statement right near the beginning: “I think what we’re called to do is have the courage to ask for what we need and the depth of being to accept whatever we’re given”.

And that was all I needed to hear to know I was going to find those “Perfectly on Time” nuggets of wisdom he so eloquently shares with the world. One of them was to remember that “Every moment is unrepeatable – it doesn’t happen again”.

At some point in this video Mark makes a reference to “...writing, expressing and living from our heart and that’s what introduces us to our worth.” I have no idea why but I suddenly had a flashback to an event that took place in Hawaii and found myself grinning from ear to ear at the recall and the “story” that went with it.

Enter the Turtle Story!

When it started.

When Don and I took our first trip to Maui around 1998 I was introduced to snorkeling. Swimming has never been a natural, love-to-do, kind of event for me but I really, really wanted to enter the waters to be with the sea turtles that were resident at the Royal Mauian where we were staying. There’s this beautiful reef out front, accessible via Kamaole Beaches I or II. While sitting on the lanai at our unit we would often see them – sometimes they would be close-in and would appear to be kind of stranded on the rocks and lava but would always be pulled back into the ocean via the natural currents and waves.

Author’s Photo

There’s this great little snorkel shop across the street from Royal Mauian – Auntie Snorkel’s Beach Rentals so I went over to have a chat and let them know what a wimp I was. No one, I mean literally no one was going to convince me that the salt water would keep me afloat! They were so very kind and helpful and encouraged me to no end. I of course ended up with the appropriate gear which included flippers, a snorkel mask AND most important a bright yellow, waist floater belt that would keep me from drowning (forever and ever).

That first year we took a snorkeling trip to Molokini. Of course Don was with me and because he was part fish I knew I’d be fine. The adventures that were to unfold over the years at that reef in front of the Royal Mauian have remained as some of my most favorite memories. Writing about them was never really part of my plan but, again, because of what Mark said it just seemed like the right time to share my recollections.

Turtle Love

There did come a time when I got comfortable enough to go into the water on my own and snorkel – all the while wearing that yellow floater belt and flippers. My love affair with the sea turtles was like a calling. When we would arrive at the condo one of the first things to be taken care of was the rental of the snorkel gear. I had named one of the sea turtles “King Kamehameha” and was completely convinced that he was waiting with his bale, for me to arrive so he could swim around to greet me as I entered their world to respectfully and thoughtfully engage with them.

A routine and path of sorts was developed over the years. The reef isn’t gigantic but there are “markers” of sorts as you enter the waters from either side. Some taller rocky areas and then some “batches” of rocks/lava and then some more open spaces. The ocean is an incredibly powerful element and wave and tidal motion creates a never-ending and changing experience. Even when the water appears smooth there’s an ebb and flow to the movement being experienced by the body.

The “resident sea turtles” that occupy space at this reef are simply breathtaking. Part of the fun of the whole snorkeling affair was to explore that underwater world to see if I could discover where they were hanging out below the surface. The points of reference would become relevant as the experience unfolded. The unit we were staying in might be in line with a portion of the reef where one of the turtles was resting. They kind of bury themselves into the sand, sometimes almost underneath a rock shelf of sorts and suddenly as you’re watching and looking they start swimming up to the surface to take that breath of air and voila – there you are in the moment sharing space with this most incredible creature.

Author’s Photo

Sometimes one of their locations would be in line with one of the palm trees; or with a corner of the fence around the swimming pool. So, after a week or so of swimming out and around the reef area a familiarity with the underwater geography would develop which subsequently led to being able to “identify” turtle locations/hideouts.

I discovered very early on that I could not swim anywhere near as fast as a turtle – even with flippers – they “look” rather large, slow and clumsy but in truth they are incredibly graceful creatures and it seems to me as I’m writing all of this they embody Mark’s reference to the two movements of his presentation: (1) Knowing where we are and (2) Keeping what is true before us. I’m sure they are much wiser than we human-suits.

Aha … growing up!

As with our Covid Restrictions a few years ago, 3M is the same distance recommended to keep between a human-suited individual and a green sea turtle.

I had acquired a new zoom lens for my camera and while there to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in 2014 I saw two individuals actually touching one of the turtles – I was more than slightly incensed and took a series of photos which I sent into the local paper. Have to say I was thrilled to be published with a view to perhaps raising awareness just a little.

2014 was the last year Don and I travelled to Hawaii together. Well, not quite, we did go back for his Ash Scattering Service in 2019 but of course that’s another story.

However, on the 2014 trip Don’s mobility had become compromised and he no longer went into the ocean. I DID continue to go and snorkel and had gathered my gear and stopped to chat and have a visit with him at the pool area before walking over to Kam II to enter one of my favorite approaches to the reef.

Following my usual path around and over different parts of the reef I was at one of my “marker points” trying to eyeball the line of sight that would lead me to one of the turtles. I think I was making an adjustment to my mask when I suddenly realized that I didn’t have that yellow floater belt on and OMG the instant and intense panic that hit almost took my breath away. Actually I think it DID take my breath away. And then something very magical happened… a voice gently and quietly spoke and said “well you silly child, look at you… you’ve been out here in this big old ocean for over 15 minutes without your little floater and you’re still floating!”

I wish there was a way to replay the feelings, sensations, thoughts, emotions that all came tumbling to the surface at the realization that I was there and didn’t need that yellow floater belt. And here’s where another one of Mark’s statements now fits like a glove. “Every moment is unrepeatable – it doesn’t happen again”

I suppose the rest of the story is kind of anti-climatic – except my excitement at having had what felt like a “growing up experience” while in my 3rd quarter was special beyond words. I swam into shore immediately. Literally ran to tell Don and then literally ran over to Auntie Snorkel’s to give them the belt and my news. They all laughed and laughed and congratulated me on the new discovery and a new world was opened up to me.

And…. Don didn’t even say “told you so”!