Does the calculation of one-quarter carry more or less weight when we’re using 100 to define a life span? Perhaps it actually depends which quarter we find ourselves in – AND – exactly where we may be positioned in the quarter.

So, that question and consideration leads me to take a closer look at expectations and perceptions – mine in particular since I really can’t speak for you or anyone else!

A 16 year old in the 1st quarter and an elder in the 4th quarter will look at the same experience through entirely different viewfinders. It doesn’t seem like any kind of explanation is required here….perhaps we just say… that’s simply life unfolding “perfectly on time”.

Enter a scenario to remind me that throwing on this new cloak of Crone/Wise Woman (in training):

My son was scheduled to arrive from Ontario on November 20th. As a work related trip to Vancouver Island we knew a face to face gathering wouldn’t take place because of the short 5-day window. No problem! He and Ericka were going to be coming back for Christmas. Best laid plans sometimes have a way of slipping sideways thought and I can hear Donald James saying very clearly….”honey, you just go ahead and plan your little heart out….just remember not to try planning the results okay?”.

On November 19th the phone rings and Ericka asks if I’m sitting down. Naturally (at least for me it was “naturally”) alarm bells ring and I hear her say: “Brett’s at the Heart Institute in Ottawa – he’s had a heart attack” and continues to tell me what has happened. I find myself saying things like….”he’s in absolutely the best place he could be”; “there’s serendipity stuff happening for him to be in the best place he could possibly be under the circumstances”; and of course now I don’t recall what else, if anything, I may have said. To be noted here….I believe those responses came from a place of other world/soul self not necessarily from the human-suited side.

And, before I continue, I’m so grateful to report that the 3rd quarter participant is going to be fine and is already exploring the required changes to lifestyle. He received absolutely the best care he could have asked for and two stents later was able to go home on Friday. I HAVE suggested it seemed like pretty extreme measures to take if he just didn’t want to come home for Christmas and instead have me hop a plane to Ontario…LOL

Why Have I Decided to Make This My Next Blog Post?

Only to share words of wisdom that have been passed along to me over the years in the hopes that you never have to have the same experience – and – if you do you will be able to take that deeper breath, stand back and know that the experience is also “perfectly on time”.

I don’t know about you but I seem to have a “mind” that wants to immediately jump into control and fix mode when what I perceive as a crisis is presented. Here were some of the thoughts that popped up and the squirrel began its multiple trips around the wheel:

• This is Friday at about whatever time – if I went online I could probably hop on a plane and be in Ottawa tomorrow afternoon
• if no flights are available option #2 would be to try and get there for Sunday or Monday
• One suitcase or two (seriously – this is the kind of thought patterns that start appearing)
• Darn…should have done up that laundry last night
• Of course, that’s going to mean putting some things in order here before I leave
  • Someone to watch the townhouse
  • Someone to pickup my mail
  • Someone to put out the garbage next week
  • Let my co-workers know what’s happening
  • Cancel all those upcoming appointments
  • Delegate the zoom meeting with our Gladys to someone else
  • Blah, blah, blah

AND….I can promise you that is just a very small smattering of what started to happen.

Intervention to Stop That Process.

OCD kicked in and I went to work on the website and the blog….yep….you’ve got it! Old, old, ideas and behaviours. Just get busy. If you get busy you won’t have time to feel any fear or any other emotions for that matter and if you can’t feel any other emotions then surely you’re going to be just fine. Right!

So….12-14-16 hours later climbing into bed with the idea that you should be able to absolutely crash doesn’t work and you toss and turn with ideas/thoughts/projections/ all tumbling around like you’re in a spin dryer and finally when you do fall asleep it feels like 2 1/2 minutes and it’s time to get up.

Can I Tell You What I’m Grateful For?

All of that only lasted until sometime Saturday when that quieter, calmer, more reasonable soul voice/self stepped forward to remind me that:

It’s probably a good thing we can’t know what’s around the next corner….whether that’s a minute, an hour, day, a week, a month or a year away. Speaking for myself, if I knew I’d probably be creating Plans A/B/C/D to facilitate every possible outcome of every outcome…just sayin’.

I’m a very long way away from having answers to it all (whatever IT all may be). On the other hand, I’m much closer and more receptive to stopping to take that breath, pause and consider practicing some faith and trust that everything truly is “perfectly on time” and the experiences have not only been agreed to but are given as a way for us to grow.

Sometimes when I find myself looking at the bigger world picture and shaking my head at what I’m perceiving, it’s actually quite comforting to come back to centre with the recognition that I can practice some lovely basic truths/principles to the best of my ability each day and in doing that small bit perhaps a little ripple turns into a large ripple and sends waves of positivity to others who are nearby.

A beautiful practice from one of my favourite books:
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

I’m sure some of you will be asking ….”What on earth is this 4th quarter question about? Then again, some of you will immediately understand because you’re there right along with me. From my perspective it’s simply about the “perception” of the number of years I’ve remained somewhat intact – emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

To me the 4th quarter represents the last and final quarter of being here in the human-suit (kinda like football unless we get an overtime….oh oh…I may have to give that idea additional thought LOL).  I have no idea how much longer the universe may deem it appropriate for me to stay here in this ‘earth-school’ but I’m ready to begin a new approach. One that explores options to dismantle all the old BS (Belief Systems….thank you Suzanne Giesemann) and considers creating some new ones.

Anyone care to join me? Ha….you’re saying…good luck.

When I entered this fourth quarter I probably would have agreed with that “Ha…good luck” statement. Today not quite so much and here’s why – at least in part.

On October 29, 2018, on our 34th wedding anniversary, my husband / best friend / soul mate / confidante transitioned out of this ‘earth-school’. What he may be up to now,  in whatever realm he ended up in, is somewhat of a mystery – AND – I have absolutely no doubt that his infectious smile, laugh and good humour is still serving him well.

What was then waiting for me was a bucketful of experiences I could never have imagined. The first real cognizant realization was that without Don I had absolutely no idea who I was, who I had been, who I might become and whether or not I even wanted to stay long enough to try and figure it out.

That’s where the original question popped up and the result has been an exploration of many esoteric and perhaps mystical ideas. Ideas that led to a recognition of how multiple opportunities have arrived to provide me with “tales” to add my “earth-school story”. (I’m sure Donald James is listening and having a terrific laugh since he was the greatest story teller of all times!)

My hope? That by “talking stories” one or two like-minded souls may feel even a small glimmer of optimism that that they are not alone in entering another phase to uncover and discover….what on earth IS this life and earth-school all about!

So where to start?

Being a Type A, somewhat perfection driven individual, I often hear a little voice I’ve dubbed my “shadow self“. It perches on my left shoulder nattering away with things like:

However, another voice has been presenting some new ideas for a very long time, and in the last four years has grown much louder and stronger. It encourages, is kind, is positive and actually makes my heart feel good and I’ve decided to call it my “soul self“.

An invitation has been extended to “shadow self” to take a back seat for a while and leave me with my “soul self” to meander down whatever trail/rabbit hole/experience pops up to be written about in the days//weeks/months ahead.

There is MUCH that has brought me here to this first blog so I think I’ll start with the most significant and recent poke/prod and how it all unfolded. I have been saying “everything’s perfectly on time” for quite awhile now and this too seems to have been “perfectly on time”.

Question: What might I want to be if/when I decide to grow up?

Answer: A Crone (as in wise woman)….in training.

Enter Johann Hari and his book Lost Connections and a seed was planted.

Oops….just realized I need to back up just a wee bit.

I have a mentor in my life who used to tell me….”Marilyn, you just go ahead and sit on that pity pot for as long as you find it necessary. I promise you that a time will come when the ring around your bum will get sore and you’ll decide to get off.” I hate to admit it but that’s where I was when Johann crossed my path. Feeling incredibly sorry for myself and listening to “shadow self“ perform a full rendition of that old ditty…. “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna eat some green, green worms…..” anyone else remember that one?

And this is where Johann’s book reappears. Toward the end of the book this word CONNECTION popped out loud and clear.

I don’t know about you but it seems to me we’ve all been presented with a very different world these past couple of years. There has also been recognition that the resulting isolation has been a strong component of a significant increase in anxiety and depression.

And….voila….here’s where the gift happened. The gift was that I felt compelled to jump up from that pity pot and send a copy of the following reading to a number of my family and friends.

The next day I followed up with this message to the grandchildren:

Good morning over there 😊

I sent that text message to all the grandchildren yesterday , in part, because of a book I just finished reading. Johann Hari’s, “Lost Connections “. It crossed my mind that if I want to stay connected to family I need to make an effort to reach out more 🥴.

Not there quite yet, but I’m thinking about starting a blog…maybe something like “Thursdays [or Fridays] with Grandma” and from there doing some kind of small weekly/semi-weekly update that everyone could read, or not.

Love you all… Enjoy your weekend. happy Thanksgiving…xoxo

I was actually in awe at what unfolded. I had no idea that my grandchildren might be even slightly interested in establishing a more consistent connection but they responded overwhelmingly that they were…and then…..that little “soul self” asked….Do you think this may be an opportunity? One that opens new doors and new ideas for the next seven generations? (I hope to do a blog on that 7 generation principle)

So…..here it is….the first blog post from The Crone/ Wise Woman (in training).

AND – here’s my hope….

To be a model at creating space for practices that encourage and expand on the development of genuinely caring and kind relationships. It feels like humanity could use a little bit more of that approach. I remain convinced that we’re all “perfectly on time” and now is a perfect time to embrace some new practices.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and consider these ideas and thoughts. As we all continue walking this journey we signed up for (my belief….doesn’t have to be yours…LOL) may each day be filled with experiences we can view as opportunities. Opportunities to replace some old ideas with some new ones – which may just create a ripple effect that impacts those most in need of some love and kindness.

And….to close – this note from The Universe <theuniverse@tut.com> on October 12th felt like a nice fit.

Subject: A Note from the Universe ❤️ TUT

You don’t have to take everything so seriously, Marilyn.   Life isn’t black and white, answers aren’t always yes or no, and absolutely nothing has to happen today.   Act when you’re ready. Be led by your feelings. And the next time someone wants to fit you into a box, just tell ’em that your jeans are in the wash, your angels are at the mall, and Oprah’s on the other line.  
Fuzzy as dice, The Universe

Contact me here – OR – Join us at “The Crone Chronicles” Group at Facebook