Category: Crone/Wise Woman Stories

A selection of shadow/soul stories wanting to be shared with other shadow/soul dancers who may relate.

WELCOME TO THIS NEXT NEW YEAR

One more year has come and is now gone….in another “blink of an eye”. My wish for family, friends and everyone worldwide, is that we find a way to embrace our individual uniqueness while at the same time recognize that our collective diversity, as a universal connection, is to be nurtured and loved. Pretty lofty thinking, even for a Crone, which is why I’m giving credit to that “soul voice”…with thanks.

The New Year Tree

Sometimes when I sit down to begin writing it’s as though my fingers are completely self-propelled and somehow not even attached to me. They just fly across the keys and IF I can simply relax and let that unfold, without second guessing or trying to manipulate it all in some way, then I’m often surprised at what I look back and see. On occasion there are multiple words of wisdom that have been captured, seemingly without any input from my “thinking” mind. It’s all quite delicious in the moments that it’s taking place….   as though there’s another voice in the mix …one that’s at ease with itself with no need to fit into anyone else’s perceptions or expectations.

And then there are the other times! 12-20 tracks/ideas kicking around in the squirrel cage when finding a way to land on one or two becomes an interesting prospect…I say interesting because if I continue to stand in the way of that free-flowing process I’ve discovered that, although it may lead me down multiple paths, invariably one path will be landed on with an assurance that this is where I’m “perfectly on time” for this current post.

So … here we go …

Down Time” has been in abundance for me these past few weeks….kind of a strange  occurrence for one who often finds it difficult to just be still and sit in silence. Of course that also left the “thinking” door, not just slightly ajar but, full on wide open for the “committee” to kick up their heels and run rampant at times. And, as has repeatedly been shown to me… that from that point forward….how I choose to walk with, run from, or otherwise engage with the committee will always have a direct impact on the state of well-being to be experienced.

In many ways, routine and structure have been pretty consistent in my earth-school journey including multiple traditions attached to multiple celebrations and holidays. This holiday season has been somewhat outside of any old, familiar, “boxes” and has given me much more space to “practice” being present.  Being able to pursue my daily meditative type readings, read a couple of new books and follow a few of my favourite spiritual teachers has provided an unexpected and welcomed respite.

Sometimes my disillusionment with the world, particularly as presented by mainstream media, goes into overwhelm mode. I find myself shaking my head and one more time not even wanting to remain here in the earth-school. But then people like Suzanne Giesemann, Lee Harris, and Mark Nepo pop up with information that inspires, encourages and shows that it’s ALL “perfectly on time” and that gratitude for the moment by moment experiences will actually make it viable to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

There was a time when New Year’s Resolutions were made – sometimes with seriousness and stick-to-itiveness – in my own world typically not lasting very long. None are sitting in my “to do” list for this new year….instead I think I’ll consider the following (taken with gratitude from Suzanne Giesemann’s inspirational book “In The Silence” from December 31st).

In part…..
“Why do you wait for a clock to tick or the page of a calendar to turn? Make your new year, your new day, your new hour, your new moment this very moment.  It is all you ever have, and it is right here, right now.”

So, as we enter another year of watching the sun circle our planet and move through all the astrological signs I’m curious and interested to hear your thoughts, comments, feedback about your top three wishes for 2023 (NOT resolutions….just wishes).

A 1st Quarter Memory

I’m not even sure what it was that sparked this recollection but it’s been kind of floating around most of the day. Possibly because we are just one week away from the traditional Christmas dinner and celebrations which means we are just two weeks away from entering another year.

The memory was about riding in a horse drawn sleigh, tucked underneath a horse blanket…sliding through lots of snow…cold, brisk, fresh air and sunshine…and going to visit some friends. I’m pretty sure it was my Mom driving and some of the words to Jingle Bells seemed to be at play….perhaps we were even singing….

Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight

It may have been the winter I turned 5. Today, looking back on at all that has changed in our world since then, I find myself filled with this enormous sense of gratitude that the experiences presented to me were of such simplicity and beauty.

My Dad passed away that next summer which naturally resulted in an impact that would be carried through most of my life. That line is not included here to elicit sympathy. Rather it’s to serve as a reminder that we all receive a certain timeline to walk in this “earth school” and however we undertake that walk, it will unfold “perfectly on time” in a manner suited to each one of us.

Today, a certain element of satisfaction seems to be coming to the forefront as the 4th quarter continues to unfold.

  • A deeper understanding and appreciation of what’s taking place in my personal world and the world around me;
  • A recognition that perhaps the entire timeline we’ve been given is simply a never-ending continuation of life lessons; and
  • By remaining open to new ideas and considerations I get to make choices as to how I respond.

I can truthfully say that many of the choices I made in the first three quarters ran a wild and varied gamut…..from hilarious, to “you’ve got to be kidding”, to “Oh no, I’ve done that AGAIN”, to a list that’s too long to try and capture here. Perhaps the saving grace is that maybe, just maybe, the 4th quarter is showing me how there are new options to consider / questions to ask myself when a choice needs to be made….

Does it come from love or fear?

Will it serve a greater good?

Will it be kind or hurtful?

The past couple of years have left “this human-suited being”, feeling somewhat isolated and at odds. That’s why it struck me that perhaps a little levity and lightness may be in order this Christmas….

so…from this Snow Angel Crone (with a dirty face),

to you and yours, I’m sending wishes for an entire bucketful of joy, love and laughter all the way through the season and 2023.

The Spiritual Crone

This morning at about 3:20am I simply could not go back to sleep. Many ideas and thoughts rolling around in my overly active mind. My mentor Gladys used to talk about not being able to sleep and when it happened she would trust that the universe was prodding her (for some good reason) to just get up and go do something. So that’s what I did….got up….came to my computer and started writing.

I had participated in a webinar the day before with Mark Nepo titled Say Yes to Life. He’s the author of many books and may be best known for The Book of Awakening – a type of daily reflections, insightful, poetic presentation. The webinar was one more exploration to uncover and discover more about what my purpose might be. It was delightful, thought provoking, and encouraging. Of course, when ideas are presented that resonate with both my human suit AND my soul what’s not to get over stimulated about. Good thing I don’t drink!

As I woke up and couldn’t then get back to sleep the words “Spiritual Crone” kept bouncing around…. over and over!

I’ve seen references/posts on FB about Spiritual Warriors and Spiritual Goddesses but couldn’t recall seeing anything about Spiritual Crones so I googled it and found this small sampling:

Definition: Crone goddess…or dark mother, is the last aspect of the Triple Goddess [not my idea of a good fit]

A number of books: The Crone; The Crone’s Book of Wisdom; The Power of the Crone; Crones Don’t Whine; Becoming Crone; Crone; and The Crone Age

A Website: Crone Confidence – “Business Wisdom Coaching for the Soulful Entrepreneur.” Intuitive Tarot card readings

Not saying I have a definitive description for “Spiritual Crone” … rather, it seems reasonable to listen to that louder soul voice and at least put it on paper. Experience has shown me more than once that intention is often like opening a door so that more information can be allowed to come forward.Expect it may start appearing in these blogs at times. This link has a couple of paragraphs about The Spiritual Teacher that I quite like – it seems to be somewhat relative to “Wise Woman (in training)”.

All just food for thought at the moment and enough of that for now!

QUESTION: Does getting ready to take a trip send anyone else into something like a spin cycle in a washing machine? Suddenly engaging in odd behaviour like:

  1. Doing laundry and finding yourself cleaning out cupboards which of course leads to cleaning out drawers which then leads to looking at your closet….
  2. Deciding it wouldn’t be that difficult to start pulling appliances away from walls to get to all that grunge you just know is sitting there
  3. Having to have the house spotless before you can leave
  4. Adding to, deleting from and adding to the suitcase multiple times because after all you might just need that one particular sweater/blouse/pair of pants/dress
  5. Do I take all of my camera equipment or not and then not being able to locate the smaller tripod

You’re probably getting my drift… many years ago while I was also “perfectly on time” all of this would be unfolding around midnight with a flight scheduled to leave the next morning. Today though I’m happy to report I’ve only been slightly stuck on #4 and #5 and it’s only 6:20pm. Ah well…progress right?

Is there anything at all in common or related between Mark, the Spiritual Crone idea and the experience of the Spin Cycle?

From where I’m sitting tonight I have to say yes because I’ve been reminded about the importance of being willing to dig a little deeper into ALL of my old conditioning, belief systems, expectations and perceptions – good, not so good and indifferent and at the same time give voice and recognition to those pieces that have been changed. So…. I wanted to share some of the new understandings that came forward.

Highlights from Mark

  • There are teachers everywhere in every moment and they aren’t always in human suit form. Being present as much as possible to recognize messages from all sentient beings may offer that heart opening that changes your world
  • I love this one – Buddhist Proverb: Act always as if the future of the universe depended on what you did, while laughing at yourself for thinking that whatever you do makes any difference.”
  • Progress and improvement make safer and more predictable roads that people are comfortable (and perhaps complacent) in using. While the crooked, dangerous, unpredictable roads may lead you to places you never knew existed it takes courage and wisdom to navigate, and it may lead to new discoveries and revelations. If given the choice most people would choose the straight, safe road that will take them where they want to go but then they might never learn anything new. [NOTE: That’s been an enormous part of my earth-school story!]

Spiritual Crone Idea 

  • Replacing old ideas with new ideas and stepping outside of a self-created and limiting box?
  • Naturally there are an abundance of caricatures, descriptions, definitions, and opinions around “What is a crone?”. Seems to me though, that much of it is attached to old conditioning, belief systems, expectations and perceptions.
  • Might I start creating a new caricature, description, definition and opinion?…LOL…Hoping you’ll stay with me to see what might unfold.

OMG – the old Spin Cycle

  • To be able to recognize and laugh that #1, #2 & #3 really didn’t get any airtime was delightful.
  • To find there’s still some practice to be undertaken around #4 & #5 is nothing like it would have been, even 5 or 10 years ago. There’s no sense of “failure” here – rather there’s a bigger sense of now moving into a phase/stage of being able to make choices and decisions that are a good fit for where I find myself today….AND stop taking everything so seriously!
  • Have to also fess up and acknowledge that the lost tripod is not really a lost tripod….I can “see” the darn thing in my mind AND I can also recall a thought process that was suggesting I might forget putting it where I put it. The gift? It seems kind of funny – something about grey matter?

The Sandbox

A number of years ago an opportunity to step into an experience of “being of-and-in service within a fellowship” was presented to me. Actually I believe it started in the fall of 2003 – and at the time I had no concept what would unfold.

The first “gathering” of what I would now refer to as “like minded souls” raised an awareness in me I had never before encountered and the words excitement and passion sprang forward. To say I was enthused was a slight understatement.

It actually took me a number of years to look back and recognize what I now see as “unrealistic expectations” of those around me. And, here’s where the SANDBOX comes into play. Mine not yours! Somehow, it seemed reasonable that everyone around me should be equally enthused and would therefore come and play with me in the Sandbox. NOT!!

It was also during this part of “my story” that one of these “like minded souls” introduced me to the idea of being “perfectly on time” for which I’m truly grateful. That idea has served me well in a multitude of other stories that have since unfolded by allowing me to take a closer look at my expectations, perceptions, belief systems and the sandbox. I love being able to use it as a type of mantra for the Crone Chronicles.

Why this story about “The Sandbox”?

Just to let you know that I’m about to share / introduce you to some people / organizations / ideas that could be new and not yet explored… AND to reassure you that I’m not asking you to join me in these “Sandboxes” I’ve discovered but rather to keep an open mind about some possible new ideas.

Spiritual Activism?

What does that even mean? Well….please don’t ask me for a definition…from where I’m sitting it seems to be much more about a “feeling”. A feeling of still wanting to understand what on earth is this story about and what on earth is my purpose and THEN if answers come forward perhaps new steps and ideas are put into play.

To step outside of MY perception of YOUR expectations of who and what I should be is just a tad nerve-wracking. I guess that could be considered fear, but you know what….I’m going to do it anyway

….not because I’m particularly brave but in part because this beautiful seven year old, great-granddaughter did just that this week when she changed her hair colour!
As her Dad posted…“I love your willingness to be bold, to stand out in a crowd, to do what makes you happy“.
Doesn’t that speak volumes? Such a strong statement about our upcoming generations and how they are already showing us (“slightly older generations”) what it means to step forward and live life with joy, love, compassion and kindness.

So….back to spiritual activism. In truth, the chasing of rainbows and exploration of esoteric paths has been part of my story for a very long time – I just never spoke out loud about it much because I thought you might raise your eyebrows and/or turn around and laugh.
Donald James used to poke fun at me and say things like “Oh…Marilyn…you and your “woo woo sh**”. However, as I mentioned in the first blog, after he passed I was really challenged to find a reason to want to stay here and today I’m satisfied to say perhaps I’m finding answers that work for me.

There has been a very consistent theme (at least in my mind) in ALL that I’ve been looking at. First of all, I’ve become pretty convinced that I’m NOT alone in asking the questions…. and the answers continue to come back to a central and core consideration – that we are ALL inter-connected; part of one energetic source; and here to be part of a transition to heal our world through love.

Of course all of that raises more questions doesn’t it?

Like: “what, if anything can us earth-school students do on an individual basis to make a difference in what sometimes looks like a dark and sad world”.

Well, I’m no expert and certainly not going to give you an “opinion”. Instead I thought I’d share links to a few YouTube presentations plus a recent gathering of the Humanity’s Team collaborative. Feel free to explore what may interest you…..

OR NOT…..


Humanity’s Team: This link includes access to another presentation titled “Global Community Gathering” which was recorded on November 30th.

The first speaker, Neale Donald Walsch, entered my world view in the mid 1990’s when I was commuting to work in Vancouver via Skytrain everyday. In truth I don’t recall how I heard about his first book “Conversations With God” but I did and away I went chasing a rainbow.

The second speaker, Suzanne Giesemann, was truly a major go-to that first year after Don left. Her story is an impactful one, particularly since she’s a  former U.S. Navy Commander who served as a commanding officer and aide to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staffs

Lee Harris Energy: Lee has provided me with explanations and new understandings about energy and how we might be impacted by our own and others. He produces a monthly interview – Impact the World – and this recent one with Scott Harrison provides such a powerful example of how one person is making such an incredible difference. His goal is to bring clean water to 771 million people – and he’s doing it one small well at a time.

Last thought for the day….

Throughout the rainbow chasing and explorations Albert Einstein is repeatedly quoted – often in a tone of awe – I think because he was so ahead of his time. So tonight I found one of his quotes that seems to fit with this latest musing…..

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when one contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries to comprehend only a little of this mystery every day.”

Albert Einstein

My 4th Quarter – His 3rd

Does the calculation of one-quarter carry more or less weight when we’re using 100 to define a life span? Perhaps it actually depends which quarter we find ourselves in – AND – exactly where we may be positioned in the quarter.

So, that question and consideration leads me to take a closer look at expectations and perceptions – mine in particular since I really can’t speak for you or anyone else!

A 16 year old in the 1st quarter and an elder in the 4th quarter will look at the same experience through entirely different viewfinders. It doesn’t seem like any kind of explanation is required here….perhaps we just say… that’s simply life unfolding “perfectly on time”.

Enter a scenario to remind me that throwing on this new cloak of Crone/Wise Woman (in training):

Does NOT exempt me from life experiences…

Does provide me – one more time – with a choice…to respond via that shadow self or that soul self…

 

My son was scheduled to arrive from Ontario on November 20th. As a work related trip to Vancouver Island we knew a face to face gathering wouldn’t take place because of the short 5-day window. No problem! He and Ericka were going to be coming back for Christmas. Best laid plans sometimes have a way of slipping sideways thought and I can hear Donald James saying very clearly….”honey, you just go ahead and plan your little heart out….just remember not to try planning the results okay?”.

On November 19th the phone rings and Ericka asks if I’m sitting down. Naturally (at least for me it was “naturally”) alarm bells ring and I hear her say: “Brett’s at the Heart Institute in Ottawa – he’s had a heart attack” and continues to tell me what has happened. I find myself saying things like….”he’s in absolutely the best place he could be”; “there’s serendipity stuff happening for him to be in the best place he could possibly be under the circumstances”; and of course now I don’t recall what else, if anything, I may have said. To be noted here….I believe those responses came from a place of other world/soul self not necessarily from the human-suited side.

And, before I continue, I’m so grateful to report that the 3rd quarter participant is going to be fine and is already exploring the required changes to lifestyle. He received absolutely the best care he could have asked for and two stents later was able to go home on Friday. I HAVE suggested it seemed like pretty extreme measures to take if he just didn’t want to come home for Christmas and instead have me hop a plane to Ontario…LOL

Why Have I Decided to Make This My Next Blog Post?

Only to share words of wisdom that have been passed along to me over the years in the hopes that you never have to have the same experience – and – if you do you will be able to take that deeper breath, stand back and know that the experience is also “perfectly on time”.

I don’t know about you but I seem to have a “mind” that wants to immediately jump into control and fix mode when what I perceive as a crisis is presented. Here were some of the thoughts that popped up and the squirrel began its multiple trips around the wheel:

  • This is Friday at about whatever time – if I went online I could probably hop on a plane and be in Ottawa tomorrow afternoon
  • if no flights are available option #2 would be to try and get there for Sunday or Monday
  • One suitcase or two (seriously – this is the kind of thought patterns that start appearing)
  • Darn…should have done up that laundry last night
  • Of course, that’s going to mean putting some things in order here before I leave
    • Someone to watch the townhouse
    • Someone to pickup my mail
    • Someone to put out the garbage next week
    • Let my co-workers know what’s happening
    • Cancel all those upcoming appointments
    • Delegate the zoom meeting with our Gladys to someone else
    • Blah, blah, blah

AND….I can promise you that is just a very small smattering of what started to happen.

Intervention to Stop That Process.

OCD kicked in and I went to work on the website and the blog….yep….you’ve got it! Old, old, ideas and behaviours. Just get busy. If you get busy you won’t have time to feel any fear or any other emotions for that matter and if you can’t feel any other emotions then surely you’re going to be just fine. Right!

So….12-14-16 hours later climbing into bed with the idea that you should be able to absolutely crash doesn’t work and you toss and turn with ideas/thoughts/projections/ all tumbling around like you’re in a spin dryer and finally when you do fall asleep it feels like 2 1/2 minutes and it’s time to get up.

Can I Tell You What I’m Grateful For?

All of that only lasted until sometime Saturday when that quieter, calmer, more reasonable soul voice/self stepped forward to remind me that:

You didn’t cause it…..You can’t control or cure it…..

You CAN:
…send love and light
…pray
…meditate
…be grateful – he’s in such good hands

It’s probably a good thing we can’t know what’s around the next corner….whether that’s a minute, an hour, day, a week, a month or a year away. Speaking for myself, if I knew I’d probably be creating Plans A/B/C/D to facilitate every possible outcome of every outcome…just sayin’.

I’m a very long way away from having answers to it all (whatever IT all may be). On the other hand, I’m much closer and more receptive to stopping to take that breath, pause and consider practicing some faith and trust that everything truly is “perfectly on time” and the experiences have not only been agreed to but are given as a way for us to grow.

Sometimes when I find myself looking at the bigger world picture and shaking my head at what I’m perceiving, it’s actually quite comforting to come back to centre with the recognition that I can practice some lovely basic truths/principles to the best of my ability each day and in doing that small bit perhaps a little ripple turns into a large ripple and sends waves of positivity to others who are nearby.


A beautiful practice from one of my favourite books:
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.