Month: January 2023

Crone/Wise Woman Stories/

Be Yourself – Everyone Else is Taken

As this past week unfolded there were multiple points of “new awareness” with “pokes” from the universe that included a few serendipity/synchronistic and A’ha moments. That’s how the blog title came into being for this week…..even at this 4th quarter of life it’s a good thing to be reminded to “Be Yourself”. Why? Because, even within the 4th quarter it’s still easy [old belief systems] to forget there really is NO requirement to fit into that box/mold that seemed like such a necessity in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd quarters.

A Lee Harris workshop titled “Rebirth 2023” crossed my path a few weeks ago and Friday was the last day. It was one more attempt to step forward, explore and be curious about what else life may have to offer and turned into an exceptional experience. No magical “re-invention in a nano-second” but this idea to “be yourself” was contained in much of the content and practices. Additionally the multi-generational community welcomed and encouraged us 4th quarter participants with open arms. It was also a further confirmation that although different words, approaches, and presentations may cross my path, my mantra of “perfectly on time” continues to resonate as was evidenced by much of the information that was gifted throughout the workshop.

Three little serendipity stories

POTLUCK AND BINGO was attended with some of the Chilliwack Probus Club members. I know, I know….BINGO? Truth is I had a blast….it was delightfully entertaining to engage with this group of fun-loving individuals – many of them in the 4th quarter and of course it didn’t hurt at all that most of those sitting at our table were bingo winners (me too…LOL). There was a little bit of scuttlebutt about the game being fixed and a few small cat calls (all tongue in cheek and with much laughter). There were also a few comments, subject to interpretation, that will remain within the walls of the gathering place, but which again resulted in lots of giggles. It was so good to discover I can still laugh and be goofy…..

PICKLEBALL. No, I didn’t play – BUT – step-son Doug had talked about it with me some time ago and suggested it would be a terrific way for me to get in shape and stay fit (thanks for the encouragement Doug…you sounded like your Dad…). Anyhow, as we were leaving the Bingo event what do you think we passed by? Yep…. the Pickleball Court. And, who just happened to be outside the door? An inviting and knowledgeable individual from the Chilliwack Pickleball Club who encouraged us to join up, go through their orientation and a basic introduction of the game and then to attend their Skills and Drills session. They have a terrific YouTube about “How to Play Pickleball” – perhaps it’s one more opportunity to lighten up?

FOLK DANCING. Sandy (bingo partner and winner as well) was talking about this group and encouraged me to join them. Great exercise and lots of fun as they explore a variety of cultural dance steps/reels. Dancing has always been a happy place for me. Dance was the magic that started that most memorable story and journey with Donald James the prince. So, this new idea that I could go and just dance, for fun and as part of a group suddenly had a whole lot of merit. Another small step outside of the self-imposed box that has surrounded me for over 4 years now. Perhaps more to be revealed in the weeks/months ahead….first class will be Wednesday this week!

A brief tussle with the word ageism

The possible new adventures took me on another exploration, looking for information. For awhile I started tunnelling down an old-age/seniors/elders rabbit hole and was actually moving into a rant. Suddenly that just didn’t suit this idea of “be yourself” so I’ve shelved it. Maybe it will come back one day and maybe not. Suffice to say that ageism is alive and well in our world and what I choose to do with and/or about it is “perfectly on time“! Perhaps it will be a new idea to just lean into identifying our 4th quarter participants as “Wisdom Goddesses and Warriors”….LOL!

What’s the takeaway today?

The idea of undertaking to “be yourself” was totally foreign in the generation I was raised up in. In fact it wasn’t part of the next generations where I continued to TRY AND GROW UP! It’s probably only now in the 4th quarter that growing up isn’t terribly significant. I’m reminded of another saying I’ve heard over the years….growing old (oops – let’s make that wiser) is mandatory…growing up is optional.

For today though, something seems to be speaking loud and clear about “be yourself” – perhaps more for the beautiful young souls coming along behind me. Sometimes, I perceive levels of expectation being presented through media over-load and it raises flags and concerns for our next generations. Johann Hari in his book Lost Connections talks about “junk values” …. I hope we find a way to move beyond.

In truth, this human-suited journey can, at times, appear to be pretty short. While it may “look” as though the earth-school provides a myriad of experiences and opportunities to figure out what “be yourself” means wouldn’t it be delightful to simply know that at any and every given moment we are all “perfectly on time“? And, from there, simply walk forward on this journey with the knowledge that nothing is etched in stone and each of us (at whatever age) has the option to revise that “be yourself” persona to fit the moments.

Crone/Wise Woman Stories/

The “A’ha P’tend” Story

Always new reflections, gifts, and experiences. Always shaking my head at how “time” seems to be escaping/traveling/unfolding at “the speed of light”! AND, still this nanosecond/blink of yet one more week, continues to surprise me.

Initially it seemed that the calendar didn’t look incredibly busy but then every day was full from beginning to end. Our weekly gathering with our beautiful Gladys; work interspersed with webinars and esoteric explorations; connections with family, extended family, and friends; and for this week the highlight of the the “meet and greet” with James William Thom who arrived to join the Thom Clan on January 2nd at 8:40pm and weighing in at 6.9 lbs.

With the arrival of, and first visit with, this latest great-grandchild a memory of another grandchild surfaced and I felt compelled to share it. Not only because it still makes me laugh but also as a reminder to cherish the memories because these most wonderful little souls arrive and turn around to produce the next generation in what truly feels like nanoseconds… AND…every little piece of it is “Perfectly on time”.

Brendan

He looked at his Mom square on, not pulling any punches at all, eye to eye and what he said was to become one of his Grandma’s most very favourite sayings for many years.

“Baby Boy”, as his Grandma T loved to call him was by all accounts a charmer. With double dimples and a smile that never stopped, people often turned around just so they could somehow be part of the lovely and exuberant energy he gave off.  Of course, Grandma T just knew, at a very deep level, that her “Baby Boy” was an old soul who had come to give us all lessons in honesty, laughter and genuine joy.

So, what was the favourite saying? Well, here’s the story….

Some summer days are just naturally more tranquil than others – you know – that lazy, slow, warm kind of day with sunshine and soft breezes that simply inspire a feeling of blissful contentment.  It was that kind of day that the favourite saying was born.

Baby Boy was two years and four months old. Not very old in some respects, but of course because we already knew that he was an old soul, the earth-school timeline didn’t necessarily equate so was kind of unimportant.  What was important was how he was about to convince his Mom that he had done something she didn’t want him to do.  What was also important was that he would convince her so thoroughly that she would actually yell at him out of fear and disbelief (being yelled at was NOT part of his world at the time).

My belief today? That at a soul level we have all planned and agreed with one another to come here and occupy the human-suit so we can be both teachers to, AND students of, one another.  The 20/20 hindsight vision of this story suggested that the agreement between Baby Boy and his Mom (for this particular event) was to teach her that not all is what it may appear to be and that even a Mother’s eyes can be deceived.

So, here the two of them are – at the picnic table – where they are sitting and enjoying the afternoon.  Suddenly… this big, shiny black summer fly appears and begins hanging around.  You must know the kind – really shiny and really big but also kind of dopy and slow – buzzing and flying close to your face and just generally being bothersome.  Pretty enticing for a little one to consider grabbing it which was exactly what Baby Boy decided to do….try and catch the fly.  Every time it came near, he tried to capture it in his little hands – clap together – oops missed – clap together – oops missed.

Of course, as this entire scene is unfolding Mom is getting a little concerned that Baby Boy might actually catch this big black dopy summer fly and asks nicely “please leave it alone Brendan” and says “you don’t need to catch it – it’s dirty”.

The smile and the dimples are presented while completely ignoring Mom and of course the little hands continue with the – clap together – oops missed – clap together – oops missed experience.

Mom, sees that on a couple of the “clap togethers” he’s getting a little too close for comfort and with a slightly sterner and louder tone says “Brendan, stop trying to catch that fly”.  But Brendan continues in his happy pursuit of chasing the big black dopy summer fly and just as his Mom is about to reprimand him one more time that big black dopy summer fly is in exactly the right spot at exactly the right moment and – clap together – and Baby Boy looks at his Mom with this huge triumphant grin on his face.

Now Mom REALLY yells – “Brendan, let that fly go” and Brendan just keeps looking at her with those eyes that reach right into your soul.  As he starts to raise his hands toward his mouth Mom now SCREAMS “Brendan, don’t put that fly in your mouth” but it’s too late and now Mom is screaming even louder “Brendan, spit that out, spit that out” at which point Grandma T’s Baby Boy opens his little hands to display that there is nothing in them and says “A’ha P’tend” with such joy and such laughter and such honesty that all his Mom can do is start laughing too!

And the very most favourite saying was born!  “A’ha P’tend” may well be what this entire earth-school is really all about. IF we are able to remember that – why then – Baby Boy probably did his job of teaching us about honesty, laughter and genuine joy. 

Being in the Moment

The approach of using the phrase “Perfectly on time” is one that’s been practiced for some time now – pretty sure the collective of children and grandchildren attached to me will attest to it. It’s a phrase that has also been said with “tongue in cheek” more than once. For some reason, today it just seems that “A’ha P’tend” and “Perfectly on time” might actually be interchangeable….just sayin’ LOL

The “Perfectly on time” doesn’t necessarily mean that someone “got it”….rather it might mean “great if you did” and “not a problem” if you didn’t because the experience can always be presented again for a second/third/fourth chance to laugh and finally say “A’ha P’tend”.

 

So….to sweet James William, AND to his parents Jeff and Laura AND to his grandparents Steven & Meera….seems to me that ALL of you are “Perfectly on time”. My wish is that you simply grab and cherish all the moments that are about to unfold. Blinks and nanoseconds truly happen in blinks and nanoseconds.

Crone/Wise Woman Stories/

The Shadow & the Soul

The more this human-suited individual endeavours to establish a “writing practice” the more there are two distinct voices that come out to play. References have already been made in earlier posts. Perhaps it’s the “perfectly on time” opportunity to more clearly define/look at/consider their identities.

Hey there little “shadow”!
What’s up in your world today? Feeling a little left out, lonely, unappreciated, and forgotten?

Would that be the reason you recently presented that old phrase….
“I may not be much, but I’m all I ever think about”… to sit front and center and play over and over like a broken record?


A little background here readers. That phrase was often used by a dear friend when several, like-minded souls, would be gathered together, undertaking to explore old and new ideas. Making light of “ego” helped all of us recognize the human-suited condition we were enmeshed in and laughter invariably followed. What a fun and beautiful memory and what a special recollection that every single person in the “gathering” would relate and then somehow feel lighter.

Adding a type of identity to “shadow” versus “ego” seems like a comfortable fit. New understandings [ideas] suggest that ALL of us have a shadow side – established to protect us from whatever past demons/traumas may have been presented at a time when we could not emotionally translate and/or understand them. With that new idea comes an interesting option. Why not embrace that little “shadow”, acknowledge its presence, and let it know it’s perfectly on time and no longer needs to protect the child because the child is finally growing up.

Of course, understanding that this little “shadow” is still going to have a voice should also be just fine. In my own experience, the practice of “pausing” when “shadow” starts to take center stage, has over time, reduced the volume to a much lower decibel. There’s a story about “The Two Wolves” that’s been around for a very long time and seems to contain elements of what I’ve tried to capture in this blog. This interpretation resonated with me and is a lovely read…. https://lonerwolf.com/two-wolves-story.

So, what about the little “soul” identity?

  • A voice that’s quieter, gentler, kinder, more compassionate.
  • Can it compete with little “shadow”?
  • From where I’m sitting today? You bet!
  • How? … Take the pause, settle in, get quiet and listen.
  • What might happen? …An entirely magical presentation of wisdom and guidance that’s heartfelt, loving and generous…. all through sitting in a state of silence.

Such a journey! AND … maybe, just maybe, the questioning that continues to play out and sit at top of mind (attached to “I may not be much, but I’m all I ever think about“) is actually my “soul” asking me to take a closer look at who I am today, who might I become and how I might be of service as I finish up my earth-school training for this lifetime.

So, now back to Thursday and how that phrase led to the theme of this blog.

I’ve mentioned my mentor, Gladys, in a previous blog (also fondly known as “Our Queen” and “Our girl”). She’s been a participant in my own earth-school journey for 40+ years and I’ve laid claim to her being my very own Wise Woman / Spiritual Giant. She’s the one that taught me about “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Interesting that more recently that phrase is being “spoken” via multiple videos, YouTube presentations and webinars. I used to think it was unique to the mutual network Gladys and I are part of but now I’m thinking it’s been around for a very long time – perhaps it’s simply more acceptable to speak it out loud in our world today.

The “I may not be much, but I’m all I ever think about” phrase was playing loud and clear as I was driving out to have my weekly visit with her. She’s now 96 years young, traveling through the maze of dementia at times, wheelchair bound as the result of a broken hip two years ago and in a care facility in Agassiz.

I go to visit because I love her dearly – it’s difficult sometimes to view her condition as being “perfectly on time” and yet there are moments when I sense some type of movement between here and wherever as she talks about “helping”. If (as seems to be the story now resonating with me) we’ve all agreed to come here to have this earth-school/human-suited experience then perhaps this part of her story is to serve as a “transition buddy” for others needing a little assistance to move to their next marvelous journey.

So – back to the phrase and acknowledging that whatever “shadow” was up to was kind of escaping me in the moment. BUT…. maybe this is the catch / pause / gift.

Our girl seemed to be elsewhere for the earlier part of this visit, but we still engaged and listened to music. Two of her favourites are “It’s An Irish Lullaby” and “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary” and she continues to amaze all of us when she remembers the words. Then she just dozed off and as we sat in silence the idea that we might be “communing/connecting” on some other level crossed my mind. Of course, when “shadow” plays devil’s advocate, it can be a challenge to discern which voice is loudest. Thursday, during those minutes of silence, it felt as though it was “soul” speaking and I’m going to go with that.

Is there supposed to be a profound message in here today? Nope. Just the idea of cherishing ALL the moments we’re presented with. Seems to me we all have a pre-destined “shelf-life” so living joyfully and to the fullest every single day might then result in no regrets when that shelf-life date arrives.

Our little Facebook Group now has 27 members and I encourage everyone to use the group to safely connect to exchange thoughts and ideas. Isolation is a word that’s become very prominent since 2020 and one of my hopes is that this group may provide one small space to engage and not feel alone.

Also, this clip just made me laugh out loud and from my perception also speaks about “soul”….I mean, really! Pretty sure it will give you a giggle as well.

Crone/Wise Woman Stories/

WELCOME TO THIS NEXT NEW YEAR

One more year has come and is now gone….in another “blink of an eye”. My wish for family, friends and everyone worldwide, is that we find a way to embrace our individual uniqueness while at the same time recognize that our collective diversity, as a universal connection, is to be nurtured and loved. Pretty lofty thinking, even for a Crone, which is why I’m giving credit to that “soul voice”…with thanks.

The New Year Tree

Sometimes when I sit down to begin writing it’s as though my fingers are completely self-propelled and somehow not even attached to me. They just fly across the keys and IF I can simply relax and let that unfold, without second guessing or trying to manipulate it all in some way, then I’m often surprised at what I look back and see. On occasion there are multiple words of wisdom that have been captured, seemingly without any input from my “thinking” mind. It’s all quite delicious in the moments that it’s taking place….   as though there’s another voice in the mix …one that’s at ease with itself with no need to fit into anyone else’s perceptions or expectations.

And then there are the other times! 12-20 tracks/ideas kicking around in the squirrel cage when finding a way to land on one or two becomes an interesting prospect…I say interesting because if I continue to stand in the way of that free-flowing process I’ve discovered that, although it may lead me down multiple paths, invariably one path will be landed on with an assurance that this is where I’m “perfectly on time” for this current post.

So … here we go …

“Down Time” has been in abundance for me these past few weeks….kind of a strange  occurrence for one who often finds it difficult to just be still and sit in silence. Of course that also left the “thinking” door, not just slightly ajar but, full on wide open for the “committee” to kick up their heels and run rampant at times. And, as has repeatedly been shown to me… that from that point forward….how I choose to walk with, run from, or otherwise engage with the committee will always have a direct impact on the state of well-being to be experienced.

In many ways, routine and structure have been pretty consistent in my earth-school journey including multiple traditions attached to multiple celebrations and holidays. This holiday season has been somewhat outside of any old, familiar, “boxes” and has given me much more space to “practice” being present.  Being able to pursue my daily meditative type readings, read a couple of new books and follow a few of my favourite spiritual teachers has provided an unexpected and welcomed respite.

Sometimes my disillusionment with the world, particularly as presented by mainstream media, goes into overwhelm mode. I find myself shaking my head and one more time not even wanting to remain here in the earth-school. But then people like Suzanne Giesemann, Lee Harris, and Mark Nepo pop up with information that inspires, encourages and shows that it’s ALL “perfectly on time” and that gratitude for the moment by moment experiences will actually make it viable to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

There was a time when New Year’s Resolutions were made – sometimes with seriousness and stick-to-itiveness – in my own world typically not lasting very long. None are sitting in my “to do” list for this new year….instead I think I’ll consider the following (taken with gratitude from Suzanne Giesemann’s inspirational book “In The Silence” from December 31st).

In part…..
“Why do you wait for a clock to tick or the page of a calendar to turn? Make your new year, your new day, your new hour, your new moment this very moment.  It is all you ever have, and it is right here, right now.”

So, as we enter another year of watching the sun circle our planet and move through all the astrological signs I’m curious and interested to hear your thoughts, comments, feedback about your top three wishes for 2023 (NOT resolutions….just wishes).